8 Reasons It’s a Big Fucking No for the Volvo Car Seat of the Future




Volvo has just released a video and images of a new vehicle they are working on. It has a high concept infant car seat. I watched the video and realized there are several reasons why this Volvo is a big fucking no for me.



Here is a link to the video: 

1.    I have a hard enough time swearing, at the idiots on the road, without having my infant staring at me as I do. I know she doesn’t understand what I’m saying, but at some point she will and I don’t want her first word to be, “fuck.”

2.      For years, the people who make the infant car seat safety rules in the U.S., have been telling us, or rather drilling the fact into our heads, that infants should never sit up front—EVER. What gives Volvo? Wait, this just in from Volvo—the major concern surrounds air bags and those can be disabled. They would like to sit down and have talks with the U.S. and Australia about the child safety laws. Good luck! Once you get past them, you will have to convince a more important group, U.S. and Australian mothers.

3.      What happens when I have an adult passenger? Do they sit in the back? I’m not a damn chauffeur, at least not until the infant get into activities and we have a while until we cross that bridge. Besides, growing up adults sat in the front seat and children in the back. It is difficult to alter generational mores.  

4.      While I love my baby, I enjoy some physical division while I drive. Sometimes we just hop in the car and take a little break from each other. She enjoys it as much as I do. She sucks her thumb and zones out while staring at the colorful octopus attached to her car seat or at the ceiling. I sit in the front, hot mug filled with some sort of caffeinated beverage, because alcohol is illegal, as I listen to anything by Bon Jovi on the radio. Volvo, we need this time. I need this time.

5.      And where is the coffee holder? Where is the fucking coffee holder? I see a double holder in the back for the other adults I’ll have to drive around. Maybe they don’t have one up front because they are afraid I’ll spill hot liquid on the baby. Stop playing it so fucking safe, Volvo and give me a coffee holder. Fine, I suppose I can just get a sip from an adult passenger when I stop at a red light. Now if only my hands would stop shaking. No, I don’t have a problem.

6.      It comes with an easy to use storage compartment that slides back and forth, but I don’t trust anything that seems that easy because honestly, nothing with kids ever is. FYI, there is a warming device for the bottle. This may not be so bad if I can use it to heat up the coffee that got cold while in the back seat. Because again (and I don’t mean to harp on this) I don’t see a coffee holder in the front.

7.      If I do decide to sit in the back, we’ll be able to see each other. Yes, some of the time she will gaze into my eyes and make sweet dove like sounds.  But, most times she will see me and want me to hold her or feed her with my breast. This will be difficult from the back seat of a moving car. And at these times she will scream like a wild animal. Even when force my husband to turn the radio up, I will still be able to see her beat red face as she hollers through a tantrum. And then, I will actually have to beg my husband to pull over so I can comfort her. He will already be put out from adjusting the volume on the radio and the sound of the baby screaming. There may be a fight. Thanks Volvo.

Source: Volvo
8.      The images are also foolish. Here are two that made me cringe for several reasons. The mother looks relaxed and beautiful. This is wrong—no mother is relaxed while in a car with an infant, especially her first. This woman is a fashion model, 99.9% of ordinary mothers are not. Volvo, if you want to appeal to mothers, put a real mother in the back seat with stained yoga pants and raccoon eyes. A woman who is sleep deprived and doesn’t have a smiling, well-rested husband chauffeuring her around. Also, can you please have her stop staring at the model infant? It gives me the creeps. I know, you are a European company and by nature are much more laid-back than we Americans, but you don’t have to make it look so glamorous and simple. I am forcing myself to believe that this woman is on maternity leave. And Sweden (which is where Volvo is headquartered) has one of the best maternity leave laws in the world. Again, I don’t want to know it. Remember, ignorance is bliss.


Source: Volvo

I know it is currently just a concept, but one people already seem very excited about. While I appreciate the effort Volvo, I don’t think I’ll be purchasing your latest and greatest. Besides, I’m sure it will come with a hefty price tag and I hear your cars are quite costly to fix. I think I’ll stick with Japanese minivan. 

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