Oh shit, the mother jumps out of bed. Maybe jumps is too strong a word, stumbles may be more accurate. “Let’s go,” she yells at the kids huddled together on the couch in various levels of dress as she enters the living room.The dog looks up at her for a moment, disinterested, and goes back to licking herself.“Mommy,” the children descend upon her with questions, requests, and demands, leaving little room for personal space or an escape route. The father was up and out early and now she is here, dealing with this. “Pancakes,” “sneakers,” “soccer pads,” “potty,” are shouted rapid fire, a succession of words she is too tired to process before…”coffee,” she says holding her hand up and ending all discussion.
On her way to the kitchen she begins her to do list: breakfast, teeth, spray, for the longer haired children, to prevent head lice, clothing, soccer stuff, water bottle, dog, and does she have to go to the bathroom? There isn’t time. Sure, she can hold it for another 3 hours. The mother is used to it. Motherhood has not only eaten up every moment of time, but has also made a mockery of her digestive system.
Where am I? She wonders as the dog barks distracting her from whatever it was that she was doing. To do list and coffee the little voice in the back of her head screams. The voice gives her a headache and sounds very similar to her mother’s. Pull the cup, dump the grounds-in the trash not the sink or the septic--something will happen to the septic--something expensive to repair, something that will cause discourse in her marriage, refill the cup without dumping grounds on the counter. Shit--too late. Ahh, but the grounds are brown and blend in. She’ll wipe them up when she returns home. Wipe up grounds, go to the bathroom--two things added to her, ‘later today’ to do list, not her, ‘right this minute’ to do list. It is important to differentiate between the two.
Fu*k, the orange light on the coffee maker is blinking. What the hell error is that? Add water, right? So she does and then she presses the button, waiting and hoping, two things that define marriage and motherhood. Shwwwwwwwshwwwwww, the coffee maker whirls to life. The mother instantly feels tense muscles loosen, clenched jaw drop and the world is fine and right for a split second while she watches the dark mocha-colored liquid drip, IV style, into her Jesus mug, a gift inherited after the death of her grandmother. The son of God smiles, she smiles back. The mother and Jesus have a moment.
“I’m peeing standing up,” the youngest, a total surprise happening between the birth of the third and the time when the mother and/or father was supposed to get fixed, yells from the bathroom and just as quickly as it came, her moment with divinity is gone. “And he peed on the seat,” the second child yells, to which the third adds, “he tried to pee without using his hands.” Wipes are procured from the dilapidated entertainment center, a lovely accompaniment to the, ‘chewed by the dog, hole so we flipped the cushion,’ couch. Their home is nothing more than a glorified frat house. In fact, the mother had better furniture in college--at least it matched and was hole-free.
Does she scold the boy for peeing or commend him for trying to pee like a big boy? What the hell would the parenting articles say? “Get your clothes on,” she says doing what all good and harried mothers do, avoid the issue altogether. The kids dress, but this one is missing underwear and that one doesn’t like those shorts, and the other one grew without the mother noticing so the things that fit last week don’t any longer.
“Are you all dressed?” The mother asks realizing that she isn’t. So she grabs Jesus and heads off to the bathroom for a moment of quiet. “Can I come with you?” the boy who now stands up to pee asks. She holds the door open and stands back, fighting is pointless, a lesson that has taken her more than a decade to learn and embrace.
And finally, finally they are in the minivan. Ten minutes later than she wanted to be. She backs out of the driveway avoiding the bikes and balls, an obstacle course, left by children who never picked up from the night before. But the mother is used to it. Damn, the garage door is open. Car off, mom out, door unlocked, garage door shut and….they are off, out on the open road. Well, not exactly open--the person in front of them is driving under the speed limit, they should ticket for this the mother thinks as she watches the crimson digital seconds tick by on the car radio clock. Five minutes until soccer. They are ten minutes away.
Music. Great idea. “This is an awful song. Mom, can you change it?” She is willing to humor the oldest, but the youngest loves this song and begins to sing it in his off key voice. How cute, how sweet, how utterly charming. “No, you’re brother likes it.”
“He is sooooo spoiled,” the second child yells. “You like him best,” the third chimes in. “This song sucks,” the first whispers. Of course, the mother hears because like every mother, she has bionic hearing. Then they debate whether the word suck is a swear. “Either way, don’t say it again,” the mother demands. The song is finally over so she changes the station...rap, country, rock, grunge--they never all agree. Strength in numbers, the cliche, not true for them. For their family, there is merely dissension.
The song she lands on, one about time, one from a band she loves, eerily acknowledges what she constantly fears--ten years are gone, ten fu*king years, ten and she missed the starting gun. There was a gun? When? College? Before? After? The beginning of her first marriage? The end? Her second marriage? The birth of her children? She wants to turn around, wants to cry, wants to be younger, wants to be wiser, but instead she puts on her blinker and eases into the left lane to pass the woman who is blissfully alone in her car, windows open, music playing and sweet and utter freedom. Apparently, she has no children to deposit at a Saturday soccer game.
When they finally arrive, the parking lot is full with vans just like hers, and when they find a spot, she has to yell at them to hurry up. Heads turn, mothers hold onto their children, the world is about to come apart. Fu*k that noise. It is still okay to demand things of your children--loudly. The world has gone soft, a gooey, ooze filled cesspool of privilege and mediocrity. “Hold your brother’s hand,” she yells because she is Italian and was raised in the 1980’s when yelling was still the preferred method of parenting, along with avoidance and the cliches, ‘not if, ands or buts about it,’ the rather threatening and potentially violent, ‘I’ll give you something to cry about,’ and the worst of all, “don’t make me call (or tell) your father,’ which implied that the man was the real threat and held all the power.
They are there, at the field, finally. “Where are we going to sit?” the second child asks. “On the grass,” the mother responds. There are sighs and protestations, whines and groans. “The grass is soft. I used to sit on tar,” the mother says her, words drenched in sarcasm. Another mother, who stands alone, free and astonishingly tanned, gives her a look. The mother returns the look.
“When is Grammy coming?” Oh shit, Grammy. Did she give her mother-in-law the correct location? It is not the high school field, where the older kids play but the field behind the skating pond, which in the fall is simply another field, one next to the playground, but not behind it. The mother checks her phone, no new messages. While she waits, she watches the unruly children in front of her obscure her view while they play games and run without consequence. She scolds, commands, drinks coffee, yells words of encouragement and wonders what the rest of the day will bring. Best not to think that far ahead the mother knows as she watches her daughter ignore the ball that breezes past instead preferring to hug the girl from the opposing team. Why the hell do kids this young play sports anyway, she’d really like to know?
“Playground,” they yell as the game finishes and the third, the, ‘opposing team hugger’ comes over with a snack and the youngest asks where his snack is. She won’t share, not this time, she says. Snacks...fu*k. Why can’t they get through a one-hour game without a snack? Why?
At the playground, she runs into other mothers, glances from child to child, occasionally experiences a brief moment of panic when one ‘goes missing’ followed by a moment of annoyance that she has allowed herself to be so paranoid, so helicopterish. Ah, and then it is blissfully over, the game, the playground, the beginning half of her Saturday has passed. This is soccer on Saturday. This is motherhood. This is the life.
When they finally arrive, the parking lot is full with vans just like hers, and when they find a spot, she has to yell at them to hurry up. Heads turn, mothers hold onto their children, the world is about to come apart. Fu*k that noise. It is still okay to demand things of your children--loudly. The world has gone soft, a gooey, ooze filled cesspool of privilege and mediocrity. “Hold your brother’s hand,” she yells because she is Italian and was raised in the 1980’s when yelling was still the preferred method of parenting, along with avoidance and the cliches, ‘not if, ands or buts about it,’ the rather threatening and potentially violent, ‘I’ll give you something to cry about,’ and the worst of all, “don’t make me call (or tell) your father,’ which implied that the man was the real threat and held all the power.
They are there, at the field, finally. “Where are we going to sit?” the second child asks. “On the grass,” the mother responds. There are sighs and protestations, whines and groans. “The grass is soft. I used to sit on tar,” the mother says her, words drenched in sarcasm. Another mother, who stands alone, free and astonishingly tanned, gives her a look. The mother returns the look.
“When is Grammy coming?” Oh shit, Grammy. Did she give her mother-in-law the correct location? It is not the high school field, where the older kids play but the field behind the skating pond, which in the fall is simply another field, one next to the playground, but not behind it. The mother checks her phone, no new messages. While she waits, she watches the unruly children in front of her obscure her view while they play games and run without consequence. She scolds, commands, drinks coffee, yells words of encouragement and wonders what the rest of the day will bring. Best not to think that far ahead the mother knows as she watches her daughter ignore the ball that breezes past instead preferring to hug the girl from the opposing team. Why the hell do kids this young play sports anyway, she’d really like to know?
“Playground,” they yell as the game finishes and the third, the, ‘opposing team hugger’ comes over with a snack and the youngest asks where his snack is. She won’t share, not this time, she says. Snacks...fu*k. Why can’t they get through a one-hour game without a snack? Why?
At the playground, she runs into other mothers, glances from child to child, occasionally experiences a brief moment of panic when one ‘goes missing’ followed by a moment of annoyance that she has allowed herself to be so paranoid, so helicopterish. Ah, and then it is blissfully over, the game, the playground, the beginning half of her Saturday has passed. This is soccer on Saturday. This is motherhood. This is the life.
***Join me next week when The Cat wonders what the hell happened to The Mother, The Father, The Offspring and The Dog.
Omg, yes and can very much relate with weekends, getting my kids out the door and soccer games, too!!
ReplyDeletei relate!
ReplyDeletePlaybox is one of the best apps among all the others which provide streaming of movies and tv shows.
ReplyDeleteThe best part is, it is absolutely free for everyone and it also provides multiple resolution of the videos.
You can also watch the videos even when you are offline
PlayBox Apk
Ultimately these will be allowed to get us more entertainment and information simultaneously. Your favouriote movie watch online free, I will enjoy a good movie with Watch top tv series free online 2018, best views tv series in 2016 Online with HD Streming For Free.
ReplyDeleteTo get all the latest information from the world of video gaming and to know insights about the latest releases, gaming features, pc specifications, etc,
ReplyDeletejust take a look at the top upcoming games
It's simple for a movie to acquire over-hyped.darkarcthemovie.com has more information on the keyword.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this very nice post awesome keep sharing.
ReplyDeletevisit here
Very lovely website. Diving through the entire article I delighted much. Thanks a lot for sharing such kind of post. 안전놀이터 토토사이트
ReplyDeleteHi, this is my first visit to this amazing webpage. Fortunately I was searching for enjoying some sports like soccer or basketball events and story and discovered your lovely article. I enjoyed much going through your soccer related writing. Perhaps I should say a great thanks for your great work. Soccer is now a popular game now many counters. Here I would like to mention a site 스포츠토토 토토사이트 that provides sports related information hoping many sports lover may like it.
ReplyDeleteThe data you have posted is exceptionally valuable. The locales you have alluded was great. A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing.. tv series
ReplyDeleteI'm a significant believer in cooking area organization. When you store, place off prepare, cook and then clean up, that kitchen job out. You must not need to address inconvenient and messy cupboards and drawers too. Yours appear astounding. chef games
ReplyDeleteHey! great post you shared. It was amazing to read whole new update also want to add more about custom mailer box here for you. It is good to know about new things.
ReplyDeleteVery professional article thanks
ReplyDeleteشركة شفط بيارات بالرياض
شركة تسليك مجاري بالرياض
شركة تسليك مجارى بالرياض
شركة كشف تسربات المياه بالرياض
There are certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration. That is a great point to bring up. I offer the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you bring up where the most important thing will be working in honest good faith. I don?t know if best practices have emerged around things like that, but I am sure that your job is clearly identified as a fair game. Both
ReplyDeleteand girls feel the impact of just a moment?s pleasure, for the rest of their lives.
online games for kids
After study a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I truly like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and will be checking back soon. Pls check out my web site as well and let me know what you think.
ReplyDeleteGarmin Forerunner 620 black friday deals 2019
Thanks for sharing. Very nice blog. Get the viral magical short video app Likee and watch the latest yoyube videos online.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post. I was reviewing this blog continuously, and I am impressed! Extremely helpful information especially this page. Thank you and good luck. Cowboys vs Eagles Live Stream
ReplyDeleteI have as of late begun a web journal, the data you give on this website has helped me incredibly. A debt of gratitude is in order for the greater part of your time and work. Browns Game Live
ReplyDeleteThere are certainly a lot of details like that to take into consideration. That is a great point to bring up. I offer the thoughts above as general inspiration but clearly there are questions like the one you bring up where the most important thing will be working in honest good faith. I don’t know if best practices have emerged around things like that, but I am sure that your job is clearly identified as a fair https://findgaragedooropener.com/best-garage-door-openers-under-200/. Both boys and girls feel the impact of just a moment’s pleasure, for the rest of their lives.
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing such a good article, I stumbled onto your blog and read a few post. I like your style of writing. Browns Game Live
ReplyDeleteGOOD
ReplyDeleteThanks for this great post, i find it very interesting and very well thought out and put together. I look forward to reading your work in the future. dallas cowboys stream
ReplyDeleteI have perused your article, it is exceptionally enlightening and helpful for me.I respect the profitable information you offer in your articles. Thanks for posting it. patriots streaming free
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing. Very nice blog. Get popular magical short video app Likee and watch the latest Raja Vaaru Rani Gaaru movie videos online.
ReplyDeleteVery good written article. It will be supportive to anyone who utilizes it, including me. Keep doing what you are doing – can’r wait to read more posts. watch nfl games fire tv
ReplyDeletehmm
ReplyDeleteVery nice blog. Very informative and knowledgeable post. Click here
ReplyDeleteAmazing Post - I love this post i hope you may also like my post that is on this website TeachNets - Free Online Learning Platform.
ReplyDeleteLove what you're doing here guys, keep it up you also go here: papa t shirt
ReplyDeleteI really made two or three entirely great deals rather rapidly. Obviously, I was promptly deceived:SEO PACKAGE
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this .. Please check out these links that is related to the psl 2020 schedule, updates, news and more.
Here you can find the latest updates and the updated schedule, news, fixtures, and the other teams and squad information. Pakistan super league is the biggest event that will be happening in february 2020 in pakistan. Sportszilla provides you the latest information about the psl 2020 teams squad the captains names, and the other points tables and the other players category list.
Psl live streaming 2020
Guests who remain only a couple of moments are not finding your point of arrival significant.Backlinks service
ReplyDeleteall kinds of sports news whole over the worls at jack
ReplyDeleteThank you because you have been willing to share information with us. we will always appreciate all you have done here because I know you are very concerned with our. Parris Law
ReplyDeleteA debt of gratitude is in order for your data, it was truly exceptionally helpfull دانلود آهنگ
ReplyDeletethanks
ReplyDeleteA debt of gratitude is in order for your data, it was truly exceptionally helpfull Midway 2019
ReplyDeleteThanks for writing such a good article, I stumbled onto your blog and read a few post. I like your style of writing. tv stand for bedroom
ReplyDeleteThe trees can be placed anywhere to provide a great atmosphere and charm for a room. Bonsai trees for sale are there to suit you desire whether you are an advanced or beginning student.
ReplyDeletetree removal hartland
Good post but I was wondering if you could write a litte more on this subject? I’d be very thankful if you could elaborate a little bit further. Appreciate it..! landscaping philadelphia
ReplyDeleteOutstanding article! I want people to know just how good this information is in your article. Your views are much like my own concerning this subject. I will visit daily your blog because I know. It may be very beneficial for me. spicewood custom pool contractor
ReplyDeleteYou will see that the principal computer games were not made with getting any benefit from them (back in those decades there was no Nintendo, Sony, Microsoft, Sega, Atari, or some other computer game organization around).best keyboard
ReplyDeleteI think this is an informative post and it is very useful and knowledgeable. therefore, I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article.
ReplyDeletelong island trash removal
Furthermore, also the external security there is a fantastic deal that may be done inside the home to improve security. Büroauflösung Berlin
ReplyDeleteThank you because you have been willing to share information with us. we will always appreciate all you have done here because I know you are very concerned with our. Apartment Tree Service
ReplyDeleteThe Brondell Breeza Warm Deodorizing Seat is a seat that warms, yet begins aerating when weight is recognized on the seat, so you get comfort, in addition to you don't need to stress over scents. round toilet seat
ReplyDeleteطرق مكافحة الحمام
ReplyDeleteشركة تركيب طارد حمام بالرياض
شركة طارد حمام بالرياض
شركة طارد حمام بالرياض
شركة مكافحة حمام بالرياض
تركيب شبك حمام بالرياض
مكافحة الحمام والطيور بالرياض
Very nice blog and articles. I am realy very happy to visit your blog. Now I am found which I actually want. I check your blog everyday and try to learn something from your blog. Thank you and waiting for your new post. steampunk tshirts
ReplyDeleteThis is a great inspiring article.I am pretty much pleased with your good work.You put really very helpful information. Keep it up. Keep blogging. Looking to reading your next post. Tree Services Near Me
ReplyDeleteGuests from outside of Costa Rica are frequently amazed by the expense of vehicle rental. While lodgings, eatery bills and visits are lower than the costs paid at home, it might seem weird that vehicle rental ought to be all the more expensive. istanbul airport meet and assist
ReplyDeleteIncredible tips and straightforward. This will be exceptionally helpful for me when I get an opportunity to begin my blog. dewa poker
ReplyDeleteFind out the best and quality internet packages and subscribe to one of them according to your need and enjoy with your friends and family members.
ReplyDeleteWow, What a Excellent post. I really found this to much informatics. It is what i was searching for.I would like to suggest you that please keep sharing such type of info.Thanks a freak believable
ReplyDeleteThis content is simply exciting and creative. I have been deciding on a institutional move and this has helped me with one aspect. budget gaming keyboard
ReplyDeleteThere are around 10 - 15 tree administration organizations in Pensacola,Chainsaw and Hedge Trimmer Service Ltd and tree expulsion specialist co-ops don't have fixed rates.
ReplyDeleteUndesirable hair is a typical issue influencing most ladies to differing degrees for the duration of their lives and provoking the utilization of different brief techniques for hair decrease or hair the executives frameworks.https://www.mudanzasmaiorica.com/
ReplyDeleteLove how wonderfully every word is written with proper balance.
ReplyDeleteHobby Plants
Articulately written and well figured out.
ReplyDeleteHobby Plants
Still, others shoot look books and even walk the catwalk themselves. Such is the success of fashion blogging that even other major industries like advertising, Custom Iron On Patches want a piece of the action.
ReplyDeleteIf you set out to make me think today; mission accomplished! I really like your writing style and how you express your ideas. Thank you. 50 likes
ReplyDeleteExpect dead, dying or diseased trees to potentially cost more to remove (because of the danger and skill needed to address the removal), while healthier trees will be easier on your piggy bank. tree removal
ReplyDeleteThis is my first time i visit here. I found so many entertaining stuff in your blog, especially its discussion. From the tons of comments on your articles, I guess I am not the only one having all the leisure here! Keep up the good work. I have been meaning to write something like this on my website and you have given me an idea. dog themed t-shirts
ReplyDeleteWhen you use a genuine service, you will be able to provide instructions, share materials and choose the formatting style. Is It Illegal To Drive Without A Shirt
ReplyDeleteشركة غسيل وتلميع سيارات متنقلة بالرياض
ReplyDeleteشركة تنظيف سيارات بالبخار أمام المنازل بالرياض
شركة التلميع الساطع للسيارات بالرياض
شركة تنظيف مراتب السيارات بالرياض
very nice… i really like your blog…
ReplyDeleteImpressive!Thanks for the post chat cam girl
ReplyDeletenice.car hire
ReplyDeleteI have read your blog it is very helpful for me. I want to say thanks to you. I have bookmark your site for future updates. spikeless coconut tree trimming
ReplyDeleteTree climbing spikes are typically made from tempered steel and they come in various lengths.professionalbamboolandscapers.com
ReplyDeleteThi s involves spikes which help a climber when climbing a tree. professional bamboo land scapers
ReplyDeleteYour experience will show that your awareness of speech comes only after your network speaks. Within the blink of an eye, the system gathers ideas, locates words, arranges them grammatically and moves your muscles to enable speech. trillion trees
ReplyDeleteI am just scrolling about the snippet series and your blog comes front of me. It's a good blog to provide the great information to the people free about different games. You can also see some questions games to play with girls if you want to spend some good time.
ReplyDeleteYou are so hardworking that you are admired and I want to be like you.sportsnews
ReplyDeleteWhat's nice about funny shirts is they usually don't land in your closet unless they're given by someone. And that's what makes them even more special. If you're not comfortable with prints or quotes that seem to make you look funny, don't fret. funny quote tshirts
ReplyDeleteThe open-faced notch is ideal for trees that require a high level of accuracy. If the individual is cutting in a tight spot, where accuracy is extremely important, the open-faced notch is the safest notch to use. Tree Services
ReplyDeleteWith such a huge amount of rivalry out there choosing the best tree specialist for you can be an overwhelming assignment. Tree Surgeon is certainly not an ensured term which lamentably implies that pretty much anybody with a saw can profess to be an expert arborist.tree removal dublin
ReplyDeleteKıbrıs Araç Kiralama, Ercan Havalimanı | Ayaz Rent a Car ® kıbrıs rent a car
ReplyDeleteTree felling can be a hazardous undertaking. Without the appropriate gear, preparing and experience the danger of harm to the two individuals and property is fundamentally higher. The best tree specialists are prepared and surveyed and hold fast to exacting British norms of value and security. Any arborist of incredible standing will be glad to show their capabilities for the work. Not just that, a talented expert is outfitted with cutting edge wellbeing gear intended to ensure themselves, your property and different spectators.tree surgeon dublin
ReplyDeleteTree felling can be a hazardous undertaking. Without the appropriate gear, preparing and experience the danger of harm to the two individuals and property is fundamentally higher. The best tree specialists are prepared and surveyed and hold fast to exacting British norms of value and security. Any arborist of incredible standing will be glad to show their capabilities for the work. Not just that, a talented expert is outfitted with cutting edge wellbeing gear intended to ensure themselves, your property and different spectators. tree surgeon dublin
ReplyDeleteYou don't have a clue how it occurred, however it did - you have a dead tree on your hands. On the off chance that you need to save the lavish look of your scene, at that point it's an ideal opportunity to consider employing a tree expulsion administration. Maybe your grand oak is representing a significant risk for drivers, as it's beginning to lean out onto the street, or your tree is making some genuine harm your rooftop - and it needs to go at this point.https://goodfellers.ie/tree-felling/
ReplyDeleteNice post! This is a very nice blog that I will definitively come back to more times this year! Thanks for informative post. get to site
ReplyDelete