Snapshots from Suburbia: Images from the Underbelly

This one simply called, "Soccer," is a tale of a mother who has taken too many pictures, attended too many practices, made too much small talk. The introverted mother cannot understand why five-year-olds need so many stations and why for the love of Jesus and all the saints in Heaven, the practice ran for 1 hour and 45 minutes, when it should have been 45 minutes. The kids are hungry and cold. The grass, burnt and yellowing from a lack of care and water, seems a metaphor for the mother, and for all mothers and fathers. And parenting is hard and soccer is stupid.

Incarceration & Childhood: 5 Alarming Similarities

Recently I watched an old episode of Scared Straight. On the show parents send their out of control children to live amongst prisoners so they will get their shit straight before they actually end up in real prison. While watching I realized three things:

4 Family-Friendly Slasher Films

If you grew up in the 1980's renting slasher films from your local video store, you may remember them with a hazy and nostalgic fondness. With Halloween just around the corner, you may even attempt to re-watch them, but if you have young children this won't be easy. First, you'll have to usher your children to bed. Then, you'll have to wait for them to fall asleep, which could mean bathroom trips, cups of water, and words of comfort or scorn. Once they are settled, you will have to monitor sound with your finger carefully placed just above the pause button. You won't want to scar your children with the screams or sights of young, sex-crazed, drunken teens being disposed of in one gruesome manner or another. 

1,354 Things You Find in the Guts of a Mother Purse

With Halloween fast approaching I am all about gross and scary, and there is nothing more disgusting and frightening than the innards of a mother purse. If you are like me, you won't change out purses for occasions (as our grandmothers used to).